Separation Anxiety

 by: Hankster

© 2022 by the author

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

hankster@tickiestories.us

(My Back Story)

My name is Steven Brewer.  My mother is Katie Brewer.  I never knew my biological father.  My mother never spoke of him.  I did glean a few hints about him from my grandparents, when they didn’t realize that I was within earshot.

Here’s what I know, and don’t know, about him.  The important thing is that I don’t know his name or where he is now, nor do I want to know.  When I was born, my mother lived in L.A.  I have lived there all my life.  My father took off and relocated when my mother told him that she was pregnant.  He didn’t tell her where he was going.

I do know that my mother clerked in a law office while she attended law school.  She met my father one afternoon when he came to the office on business.  He was a client of the firm.  There was instant chemistry between them; he asked her out; they became fuck buddies; they never married.  Nothing more.  My mother was focusing on her career.

She realized that she was pregnant halfway through her second year of law school.  She finished the year and delayed her third year to birth me.  We lived with my grandparents, and they raised me while she finished law school, and went to work.   They never loved me or showed me any affection.  I know it was because I had delayed their peaceful retirement, but I suspect it was also because I was a bastard.

When I was three years old, my mom was representing the wife in a bitter divorce case, and David Howell was representing the husband.  The two lawyers and their clients were brutal to each other.  Nevertheless, my mother practically swooned over David.  When the case was over, they began to date.  By the time I was four, they were making wedding plans.  They bought a large house in the Hancock Park section of Los Angeles, hired a nanny and a housekeeper, and moved me out of my grandparents’ unfriendly home.  As soon as I was gone, my grandparents moved to Scottsdale.  It was almost like they were saying, “Don’t expect us to baby sit.”

Everything changed for me.  My stepfather loved me more than my mother did.  He was constantly hugging me, and playing with me.  When I got older, he attended my sporting activities as much as was possible.  I was on a Little League baseball team, and in high school, I lettered in that sport.  He hardly ever missed a game.

Only one thing bothered me.  He never formally adopted me.  It would have been easy enough for a lawyer to do.  Also, I called him dad once, and he insisted that I call him Dave or David or even Davey, but not dad.  I was deeply hurt, but he continued to shower me with affection, so I let it slide.

Shortly after I turned fifteen, our worlds, Dave and mine, were shattered.  My mother was getting so tired every day, that she often missed work.  She resisted it, but finally she went to see her doctor.  Long story short.  She was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and it was spreading fast.  We lost her five months after her original diagnosis.

-1-

After my mom’s funeral, Dave and I took about a week off before we resumed our new normal lives.   It was a beautiful Friday morning, and I was getting ready for my first day back at school, when I suddenly got sick to my stomach.  It was all I could do not to barf.  I tried to examine my feelings, and it dawned on me that Dave had never adopted me.  He didn’t need to burden himself with me.  If he wanted to, he could send me to my grandparents.  I’d never go to them.  I’d run away if I had to.  If that didn’t work, he could put me in foster care.  That was even more frightening.  I decided that I had every right to be sick to my stomach.  I dragged myself to school.

To make matters worse, I had already accepted that I was gay.  I even had a couple of high school fuck buddies.  I didn’t ever want to leave gay friendly Los Angeles.  I had come out to Dave a few weeks before my mother died, but my mother was too sick, and I never told her.  Dave told me that he wasn’t surprised, and it was fine with him.  I hardly had any contact with my grandparents.  I saw no need to come out to them at all.

That first day back at school, I had baseball practice in the afternoon, and I decided to participate in order to get my mind off my anxieties.  I didn’t get home until five o’clock.  Dave was there already.  He saw the puzzled look on my face, and said, “I left the office early.  I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“I’m fine,” I lied.  “Are you OK?”

He nodded.  I could see that he was preparing dinner.  It had been years since I had a nanny, and the cleaning help came only once a week.  Dave was a pretty good cook, and I vowed to begin to help him out in the cooking department, that is, if he didn’t get rid of me.

When I saw him, all my emotions erupted.  I began to sob, and I wrapped my arms around him.  “Please don’t send me away,” I begged.

He pulled me off him, and looked at me incredulously.

“Good God, Stevie,” he cried out.  “Why would you ever think that?  I love you.  Surely, you must know that.”

“Legally,” I said, sounding pretty much like a lawyer, “you have no obligation to keep me.”

Dave took me back in his arms, and damn near cracked my ribs.  He too started to sob.  The two of us held tightly together, and cried for a very long time.

The first day back to school and work had been rough on both of us, and we retired early.  Since my mother passed, neither of us closed our doors.  It was as if we needed to keep each other company.  I also learned that we both slept nude.  Even though I had that knowledge, I never got a good look at Dave without his clothes on.

At about midnight, Dave came into my room and shook my shoulder.  “Are you awake?” he asked.

“Yeah, I can’t sleep.”

“Neither can I.  Let’s sleep together.  I hate to sleep alone.”

What could I say?  I threw back the covers as a welcoming sign.  I got a good look at him now as he climbed into bed with me.  He was naked, and he was erect.  His cut cock was at least eight inches long, and plenty fat around.  I was big for a fifteen-year-old, but I was nowhere near his size, and I wasn’t cut.  I immediately sprung a boner.  We were both hard.

Dave cuddled up to me, but he made sure that his erect cock did not touch me anywhere on my body.  Frankly, I was disappointed, but I took the same precaution.

“This is so nice,” he said.  “Stevie, I have a confession to make.”

“Sure.  You always told me that I could tell you anything.  That’s why I had no trouble telling you I was gay.  Now it’s your turn.  What do you want to confess to me?”

He pulled me close to him.  “I’m gay also,” he whispered.  I had to strain to hear him.  “I’m madly in love with you.  Let’s sleep now.  I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow morning.  Tomorrow is Saturday.  We have all weekend to make confessions and love.”

I was more than shocked, but I would just have to be patient until tomorrow.  We were holding each other tightly, and now I felt his hard cock caressing mine.  For the time being, we were both so comforted, we did fall asleep until the next morning.

-2-

David Howell knew the various classifications of sexual orientation by the time he reached his twelfth birthday.  He also accepted the fact that he was homosexual, and it didn’t bother him at all.  It may not have bothered him, but he didn’t like being gay.  He would have preferred to be straight.  If he were, he reckoned that life would be a lot easier for him.

By the time he was sixteen, and starting his junior year in high school, he had several fuck buddies.  He was enjoying unbridled sex, while his straight counterparts were frustrated with constant blue balls.  David accepted his sexual orientation, and was glad that he was gay, because he was enjoying so much sex.

He met Katie Brewer when they were adversaries in a divorce case.  Even though they were ruthless in the court room, Katie flirted shamelessly with David.  One evening, after the case was adjourned for the day, she asked him to join her for a drink.  At the time, she didn’t see David as husband material.  She just wanted to get laid, and this handsome stud checked off all her boxes.

After a couple of drinks, she grabbed David’s arm and dragged him home with her.  Once home, she craftily seduced him.  Somehow, he rose to the occasion, and she was pleased with his love making.  After that, they dated regularly, and David was able to satisfy her insatiable sexual desires.  It was Katie, who asked David to marry her.  In a weak moment he agreed.  He saw it as an opportunity to live his life in the mainstream.

He did accomplish that goal, but he couldn’t suppress his homosexual desires, and he had plenty of liaisons with men outside of his marriage bed.  Most of his contacts were frustrated married men, just like he was.

He had one other problem, and it was a big one, a major one.  As his stepson matured, and grew into a handsome, athletic young man, David began to desire him as a lover.  It was getting harder and harder for him not to grab his son’s crotch, and play with his dick.  When Stevie came out to him, and his wife died shortly afterward, David vowed to tell Stevie how much he desired him.  He rationalized that the boy was gay, so even if it were possible to do, he wasn’t trying to convert him.  And what if Stevie felt the same way?

He gave no thought to the consequences, and on the first night they were alone together after they resumed their everyday lives, David climbed into Stevie’s bed, and hunkered up to him.  He rubbed their erect cocks together, and they both fell peacefully asleep.  Their joint tragedy was momentarily forgotten.

-3-

I woke up first.  David’s cock was still caressing mine, so I pushed harder against him, and started to dry hump my stepfather.  A crazy thought went through my brain.  Maybe this was the reason David never adopted me, so he could make love to me.  We were unrelated in any way, but nevertheless, I was jail bait, and David knew that well.  He also knew that I was gay, and afraid of being sent away.  He could rest comfortably, knowing I would never accuse him of statutory rape.

My dry humping, finally awakened my hunky bedmate.  He started to hump me back.  He ran his hand up and down my back, and in a further show of affection, he tousled my hair.  Suddenly, he leaned over and started to give me head.  I gave out an involuntary sigh and a small sob.

He sat up and said, “That’s just a teaser, Stevie.  Let’s have breakfast, shower, and spend the rest of the day in bed.  I’ll teach you how to give superior oral and anal sex.”

I started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“Dave,” I said, and then I exaggerated a little, “I’ve got a slew of fuck buddies.  I’ve been sexually active for about a year and a half.  You don’t have to teach me a thing.”

Now it was Dave who started to laugh.  “How could I have not known?” he asked rhetorically.  “When I was in high school, I had plenty of fuck buddies.  I was never a sex-starved or frustrated teen-ager.”

“I have a feeling we’ll both know more about each other before the day is over.”

I smiled and kissed him on the lips.  My mouth was open and I let him feel my tongue.

At breakfast, Dave admitted that he had been totally homosexual until he met my mother.  Wisely, he said nothing about her sexual appetite, but I knew.  I was fascinated by his narrative.  I was certain that I could never fuck a woman.  Kudos to David.

Subsequently, in the shower, we sucked, fucked, rimmed, and joyfully gave each other golden showers.  It was hard to do (or rather not to do) but we refrained from cumming.  We reserved that for a dry bed.  In bed we gave each other long trips around the world.  sucked, fucked, and rimmed.  Dave came twice and I came three times before we turned in for the night.

We both woke early Sunday morning and continued making love all day.  Finally, Dave made us get out of bed, shower, and dress.

“I’m taking us out to dinner tonight to celebrate,” Dave said.  “Nothing less than a five-star restaurant.”

“You’ll get no argument from me,” I informed him.

He did not comment, but he admonished me to wear a jacket and tie.

We slept together every night until I left for UCLA.  I could easily have taken public transportation to school, but Dave wanted me to stay in the college dorm for the experience.  We drove to the university on the Friday before classes were due to begin on Monday.  On the trip driving there, Dave urged me to find my soulmate.  I told him that I already had, but he wouldn’t accept it.

“It was convenient for us to make love when we were alone,” he said, “but now I intend to find someone my own age to settle down with.  This time I want it to be a man.  I urge you to do the same.  Don’t worry.  We’ll still be friends, and hopefully fuck buddies forever.”

I grew sad, but I knew that he was right.  I nodded at him, and that was that.

Little did I know that we would both meet our soulmates in a very short while.

-4-

My roommate and I arrived at the exact same moment.  He was with his dad, and I sort of was with mine.  There were no mothers in sight.  The four of us made our introductions before we opened the front door.  There was no way to tell that the older men were our dads, because all four of us had different surnames.

“What a coincidence,” Dave said.  We went back and forth to our cars, and brought in all the stuff that we erroneously believed we couldn’t live without.  That done, the two “fathers” went to find legal parking, and Paul Clemens and I were alone for a few minutes.

I couldn’t resist asking.  “Isn’t Pete your father?  You have different names.”

“No, he’s my foster father.  I turned eighteen last month, and the state doesn’t pay him anymore, but he loves me, and treats me like a real son.  He’s financing my education, and all my expenses.  I’m so lucky.”

“What about your foster mother?” I dared ask.

“There never was a mother.  Pete’s gay and I am too.  My folks kicked me out when I told them.  Pete fostered me at the urging of my social worker, who happens to be his brother.  Now tell me, how come your last name is different than Dave’s?”

I started to laugh.  “We’re not quite in the same boat, Paul, but close.  Dave was married to my mother.  He married her before I started kindergarten.  She died a few years ago.  He never adopted me, and I was scared stiff that he would put me in foster care after she died.  I was so wrong.  He treats me like his own son.”

I didn’t want to muddle the tale, so I simply added that he came out after she passed, and that was when I told him that I was gay also.  I kept our sexual life my secret. 

Now it was Paul’s turn to laugh.  “Let’s not tell them that they’re both gay.  Let’s see if Mother Nature will take care of that for us.  We all live in Los Angeles.  Wouldn’t it be a hoot if they got something going between them.  They’re both hot as blazes.”

“Do you think it would be as big a hoot if we got something going between us?” I asked.  “You’re pretty hot yourself man.”

Paul came over and planted a very chaste kiss on my cheek, just as Dave and Pete came back into the room.  With that kiss Paul told me that his answer was yes.  We pulled apart quickly in total embarrassment.

Pete laughed.  “Carry on men,” he said.  “Dave and I have already established that you’re both gay.  Besides, Steve, the minute I met you and Dave, my gaydar sounded a fire alarm.”

Dave added, “In fact, we’ve already made plans for us to take you youngsters out for a farewell dinner, so we better put a move on, and get your room squared away.”

“Where are we going?” Paul asked.

“To a gay bar and grill in West Hollywood,” Pete answered.  “Dave and I have learned that it’s the favorite bar of both of us.”

“Good God,” I piped up, “you two guys sure work fast.”

“When you meet a guy as hot as Pete,” Dave said, “you act fast before you lose him.”

“Steve,” Pete said, “Dave and I have moved faster than you know.  We’ve already made plans to spend the rest of the weekend together, so that we two empty nesters won’t be lonely.  Besides, you two can’t have all the fun.

Paul and I, with the help of Dave and Pete, got our room in ship-shape order as fast as we could.  We went to the restaurant in Pete’s car.  None of the four of us really enjoyed dinner.  Knowing what the remainder of the weekend had in store for us, we all ate too fast, and didn’t savor the food.

Pete dropped Dave off at his car first, and then drove us to our dorm building.  He took off so fast, he was a blur. I wondered if Pete and Dave had finally met their soulmates.  I didn’t know, until three hours later, that I had met mine.

Neither Paul nor I were virgins, but we made love that night like it was the first time for both of us.  Our passion was unlimited.  Paul’s cock is uncut, and it’s the same size as mine.  I think our guardian angels arranged for that to be.  We sucked, fucked, and rimmed in Paul’s bed.  We refrained from giving golden showers in the dorm showers.  It was communal, and far from private.  We both came twice that night, once in the ass and once in the mouth.  When we were done, we lay entwined in Paul’s bed.  We no longer wondered if we would get it on.  That ship sailed hours ago.  Best of all, we had all weekend to make more and more love.

Neither Pete nor Dave ever told us what went on after they left us on campus, but it must have been hot.  Sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Pete gave up his apartment.  He and Paul moved into our big house in Hancock Park.  Paul and I came home every weekend.  I must admit, I was frustrated with sexual tension.  I ached so much for Dave.

I couldn’t stand to hold it in any longer.  One night when Paul and I were basking in the afterglow, I got up my courage and asked him if he and Pete ever made it together.  He put on a shy grin, and said, “Often. In fact, I was the one who seduced him.  I didn’t realize how easy it would be.”

I admitted to him that Dave and I had made love often also.  I stressed that we made love.  We didn’t have sex.

“What would you think about seducing them this weekend?” Paul asked me.  “After all, we’re one big happy family.”

“Not only do I think it’s a great idea,” I answered, “but something tells me that they’ve been thinking the same thing.”

I was correct.  They were thinking the same thing.  I’m not sure who seduced whom that weekend, but the four of us not only had an awful lot of fun together, but our joint passions continued for many years into the future.

Posted: 10/21/2022